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Women's Only Events
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The All In Urgency
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
I have started working in earnest on my poker game. I am starting from scratch. Back to basics…this unfortunately means back to freerolls. UGH. I know it is a horrible thought. I haven’t played in a freeroll in years besides with WPC. They make me crazy. But I figure if I am going to start fresh then I need to start at the beginning. My beginnings in poker were occupied with free rolls. It didn’t kill me but you would be amazed at what you can live through.
I have to admit that I was not struck by lightening and my game didn’t come to life in two games. But…I did manage to figure one thing out. The all in mentality. I could never quite come up with the reasoning behind going all in or huge raises so early in a game. In most cases someone who starts out that way fades quickly and they are lucky if they see the first break never mind coming close to the money (or in this case points.)
Today it hit me. I finally get it. It’s urgency. It’s the need to accomplish everything at record speed. Knowing what we do about human nature, especially in the fast paced world that we live in, it is natural for us to want everything done and done quickly. Poker is no different for some. Most of us are happy to gain our chips in the traditional fashion using skill and knowledge. The all in needs the adrenaline rush. They need the excitement and energy. All in brings instant results and instant gratification. The all in provides those who employ it with a temporary high.
Urgency is an almost like an addiction. In certain aspects of my life I am a junkie myself. I just never let it anywhere near a poker table. It has no place there and it enforces bad play and a downward spiral when it is no longer effective.
Through the urgency issue comes the bigger issue: control. I know at live events I have met people who I knew instinctively were all in fanatics. I just could never put my finger on why. I could not figure out what it was about their personality that gave me clues to that style of play. It hit me today. Urgency and control. Players at a poker table are unpredictable. Their play is not easy to control. The all in personality cannot handle that part of poker. It is easier for them to go all in before the flop and be able to control at least that part of the game. There is no post flop play. There is nothing that adversaries can do to combat them after the flop.
We all know this is a self destructive path in our everyday lives. It has no less an impact on the poker tables.
Well, I have cleaned out the closet; I have worked on my list of little annoyances and have managed to get it down to very few. Those that are left there is not much I can do about them except learn to manage them a bit better. Now it is down to fixing my poker game. There are some big holes in there and boy do they need fixing.
It has been a long time since I believed that stupidity is a virtue at the poker table. My game has gone well beyond that...but lately the results are not much different. I am not winning...I am not succeeding in what should be "old hat" by now. Stupidity of the all in is starting to become an appealing diversion.
I decided to first start with a list of what is wrong with my game…maybe in writing it down a bolt of lightening will strike and something will make sense. Then again maybe I will make my list and work by reading and practicing and my game will at the very least improve. 1. Inertia: When my cards go dead, I play dead. I never believe this is happening to me and I wait and I wait all the while swearing there will be some divine intervention to save my sorry butt at any moment. That rescue never comes. 2. Bad Beats: When I take a bad beat I don’t get outwardly angry. Sometimes I don’t even realize I am angry or that it is bothering me. I use it as an excuse. I always feel the game is lost on that one hand. 3. Making Assumptions but failing to test them for accuracy: I make fairly good judgments of people at the tables. I am quick to know who the bully is, who the calling station is and who thinks he is a pro. The problem comes in when I do nothing to test my accuracy. 4. Being Right: I know I am making the “right” plays. But the right way isn’t always the winning way. I am always rationalizing what I did or didn’t do. “I made the right lay down.” “I made the right call.” 5. Strategy: I don’t always have a strategy when I play. I just sit to play poker. I know that is not the right attitude just need to figure out how to change it.
I am sure there are more than just these five issues. But these are the biggies. I am tired of witnessing my own dismemberment at the tables. No more whining about bad luck and bad timing. Time to get my proverbial act together and start playing poker.
Right now the “women’s’ industry” has very little to do with giving us the “tools” that we need to play poker. It has become unfocused, lazy and gimmicky and above all marketable. We are sold women’s only events in the same manner that you are sold everything else. We are being told that just because we are women and are so wonderful that we cannot help but be successful in poker. We are paying dearly in more ways than one.
Instead of stripping away our excuses we are provided with a whole new set of excuses not to play and not to succeed. The result is more distractions and more problems. We hear about the numbers in the WSOP main event and right away the excuse for not succeeding is there. Because of the number of women it is very unlikely that one of us can succeed….so why bother. Last night Susie Isaacs said on Women’s Poker Hour that she plays one table at a time. She plays the nine players seated at her table and when she is moved she plays THOSE nine players, not 7000. That increases our odds drastically. The odds are not 300 out of 7000 but one out of ten. I prefer those odds and plan to look at each and every tournament that way from now on. (Thanks for the advice Susie!)
We are being told that we need a ranking system for women. No we don’t. We need women to be treated as everyone else is. It goes right back to the bashing that Annie Duke and Tanya Peck took for giving their reasons for not playing in women’s only events. We are right back where we started. We are back to segregating ourselves and being not taken seriously as if we cannot play with the big dogs. We can and do play with the big dogs and we can do it well with the right mix of knowledge and strategy. Not just because we are women.
We are being sold women’s only events with higher buy ins as though those are the only events that matter…bigger buy ins. That is not true. Not by a long shot. By the time a woman is able to play bigger buy ins she should be playing in mixed events. I resent women’s only events being treated as the be all end all to poker for us. They are not. Also on Women’s Poker Hour Maryann Morrison said they should be used as a stepping stone and I agree whole heartedly. The structures that we are handed are awful…the idea being to get us in and get us out so the “real” players can play. Women need to be on the radar. We need to be public and we need to be seen. By moving ourselves out of the mainstream we taking ourselves out of the spotlight and back into the kitchen while the “boys” play poker.
I am not a big believer in “separate but equal.” History tells us that it fails miserably. If we are to be equal than we need to be seen as such and separation is not the way to go about it. Those with the experience and the bankrolls need to be present and accounted for at the larger tournaments. Those without the experience need to gain it and work their way up as their skill and understanding allows. If that is in women’s only events so be it. We all start somewhere and most women start in those events to get started and many continue to play in them while they grow into poker players in their own right.
We can learn a lot from the pioneers in poker. Barbara Enright, Susie Isaacs, Linda Johnson and the other women who paved and are still paving our way into poker. They did not get strapped into a cockpit and launched into poker. They started small, they worked and read and studied to make their games better. They prevailed through blind luck and trial and error until they got it right. We are fortunate to have the positive role models that we do. Instead of skyrocketing women into poker we need to take a step back…maybe more than a step.
Do we still need women’s only events? Of course we do. Thank goodness they exist. Without them we would still be stuck in the 70’s and dark back rooms with cigars and women frowned upon. Will we always need Women’s only events? I think so. There will always be new women coming into poker. We will always need forums and magazines and books that cater to women. They give us support. They give us skills and the “inside scoop” to the world of poker. I don’t want to demean everything that pertains to women in poker. There are some very useful tools out there. I just feel that creating a sub-world of poker is going in the opposite direction.
Just before I went to Las Vegas Maryann asked if I would still do a show on Hold Em Radio We had worked on it a bit late last year but I could not get my work schedule to cooperate. Our debut show was on Monday, February 26 2007 at 7:30 pm EST. It was a great show...or I thought so anyway. Our guest was Valerie Wade, the woman who won our UPC event at Binions. I was very nervous about doing this. I used to work in radio but my on air presence was limited to a few voice overs when they were desperate.
For our second show Maryann got Barbar Enright who is not only the editor of Woman Poker Player but also the first and to date only woman to see a final table at the WSOP Main Event. There is much speculation that if it were not for the bad beat she took in that tournament she had a better than average chance of being the only woman to ever win a WSOP Main Event Championship. Barbara was a great guest and I was very honored to have her and her experience on the show.
Last week a great woman poker player and great friend, Liz Lieu fought her jet lag (she was just back that day from playing the Party Poker League in the UK.) She had some super stories and was a natural on the air.
This week we are looking forward to having Susie Isaacs on the show. I am a long time fan of Susie's and her endeavors to support and encourage women in the poker field. Susie also has her own show on Hold Em Radio Broad Minded Poker It will be nice to hear from Susie about poker and her ideas when we can place the focus on her.
Next week we will hear from an up and coming professional Michele Lewis. Michele cashed in three WSOP events last year and I expect great things from her in the next WSOP.
My feelings have always been to see more and more women involved in business and sharing in what is viewed as a man’s world. My first thought when I talk to a woman in a high profile high power job is “more power to her” and “good for her, I hope she makes all her dreams come true.”I have become more and more involved in the poker world and the more I delve deeper the more I see things that I am not overly impressed with. There is no doubt that the poker business is just that… a business. I am not sure why I expect anything more. I can tell you my visions of women in the poker world all working toward a common good has pretty much been shattered. I was never so naïve in thinking that everyone would get along all the time and that there would never be mashing of heads and opinions. That is beyond reason but power and money to strange things to people and women are no exception.
I interviewedIsabelle Mercier for the November/December issue ofWoman Poker Player Magazine. One of the things she said in the interview when I asked her about women in poker was that “As women, we have the desire to be the only queen in our world. It’s the 'I want to be first' attitude. Women just have that. I sometimes see new women come into poker and see a lot of attitude and it really shouldn’t be that way." At the time I don’t think I got the full meaning of what she said. I mean I know that attitude and probably in some capacity I have the same stance in specific areas of my life.I can tell you though that I never entertained the idea of being the martyr and doing everything alone.
What is it about power that turns normally sane women into feared bullies whose morals and principles should be questioned? I know it is not EVERY woman in a power position who acts and reacts in the same fashion I have talked to many who are great women and are doing great things in the industry. It seems to come from those who are given a little power and a little success. It seems that in order to get more these women feel they need to step on others or worse yet to use them and their ideas. It reminds me of movies where there is always a sleazy business man trying to get the big score.
Traditionally men see women as gossip mongers who have nothing better to do than chat about this person and that person and think that any woman who has more is a bitch or a liar or both. This is what men picture when they see us sit at the tables. Why would we take the uglier sides of those perceptions of women and turn them into a reality when we get to the right places and the right positions? I just don’t get it. I would think that the women in these positions did not get there by acting this way so why would anyone even think it is becoming to act this way when we finally do get the power to make some major changes and work toward making things better?
What is wrong with my rose colored glass vision of making poker and making lives of other women more fruitful along with our own? What is wrong with making a trail of friendships that guide and facilitate the bumps and bruises of our own paths? And why is it when a woman supports another in her endeavors; backs are turned and favors never appreciated or even acknowledged? Do we really have that narrow minds or forget that easily that there were others on our paths to success who stood by us and supported what we do and the goal that we strived to attain?
Is it money? Is it the ability to boast and brag? Is the power to belittle another one of our own as lower than we are? I seem to have more questions than answers. But one thing I do know is that the impact is much greater when we are able to hold hands high together and say “Look what we did” versus one hand saying “Look what I did.”
This might not really have much to do with poker…well I think it does indirectly. One of my biggest faults in life and in poker is lack of focus. I always have a zillion things going through my head all at once. There are many ways in which it helps me. I mean I can multitask like you wouldn’t believe. I can think about more things and do more things at the same time than most people can do and think about all day. I never really thought of it as a weakness until the last few months. I don’t want to lose my abilities to multi task and to be able to work multiple problems/scenarios in my head. In some ways I will always have to do that. I have kids, a job and I play poker and I write and help organize things for WPC and Woman Poker Player. So I cannot ever lose that ability totally. But lately it keeps me up at night and seems to drain all of my energy. My lack focus at a poker table, when I write, and when it comes time to work I feel is hurting me.
Years ago I picked up one of those self help books about becoming successful in life and in business. I don’t even remember the circumstances that surrounded why I bought it. I read a lot but self help books have never been my genre of choice. Anyway to make a long story short in the beginning of this book one of the tips to personal success is to do away with petty annoyances. They drain you of energy and take away your focus. At the time I ignored the advice. I had plenty of energy and had no problem with completing tasks……on time. Ok, I’ll admit I have become very lax in the deadline department and my focus on projects in and out of poker has become a bit out of my control.
I am a big fan of Liz Lieu and one of her strengths and one of the things I admire the most about her is her ability to keep business, poker and the fun side of her life completely separate and her ability to focus completely on the task at hand. I don’t think I will be able to ever do that completely but there is definitely room for improvement. When I first approached her about the subject she said it is something she just does. She does not have time to deal with things later so if she sees a problem she deals with it now. Thinking about this conversation brought me to think about myself and brought me back to that book which was either given away or long burried in a box somewhere.
That book suggested that I make a list of things that are just plain annoying. A coat that no longer fits that should be given away or taken to the Salvation Army, replacing the hooks in my kitchen among a list of 89 other things that need some sort of attention. Then there is the biggie……..my closet. I have just put stuff in that closet since the day we moved in and only had the courage to actually look at some of the stuff once in the last two years. That closet is definitely an energy drainer. It is now to the point where we have to push real hard on the door just to make it shut all the way. Every time I walk past that closet I think about cleaning it out. I just never actually do it. I don’t even know why. Like I said, major energy drainer. Well, today I am cleaning out the closet. What is in there I apparently no longer need or I would have looked for it well before today.
The rest of my list will be worked on little by little until there are fewer demands on my time and focus. I say fewer because in my house no demands is not only unheard of but impossible. They will always be there and in ways I thank God that they are. No worries and no change would be just plain boring. But I can limit my stress and improve in other areas by focusing on what needs to be done at the moment and leaving my thoughts clear to work, play and even sleep with out small petty annoyances weighing on my mind.
So what does that have to do with women in poker? More than you might think. More than poker players, we are women and our personal lives have a way of creeping into our poker lives to steal the glory of winning and succeeding. There are so many of us that have multitudes of distractions. We all have little things that weigh on our minds like that closet. The closet itself is just that ….. a closet. It, on its face, holds no character, no grasp on me or my lifestyle. The closet represents more. It represents letting go of old habits and moving forward. It represents the end of drains on energy and on focus. I think it will be an amazing feeling to be free of small things that hold me back and to move forward on and off the poker tables.
