My feelings have always been to see more and more women involved in business and sharing in what is viewed as a man’s world. My first thought when I talk to a woman in a high profile high power job is “more power to her” and “good for her, I hope she makes all her dreams come true.” I have become more and more involved in the poker world and the more I delve deeper the more I see things that I am not overly impressed with. There is no doubt that the poker business is just that… a business. I am not sure why I expect anything more. I can tell you my visions of women in the poker world all working toward a common good has pretty much been shattered. I was never so naïve in thinking that everyone would get along all the time and that there would never be mashing of heads and opinions. That is beyond reason but power and money to strange things to people and women are no exception. I interviewed Isabelle Mercier for the November/December issue of Woman Poker Player Magazine. One of the things she said in the interview when I asked her about women in poker was that “As women, we have the desire to be the only queen in our world. It’s the 'I want to be first' attitude. Women just have that. I sometimes see new women come into poker and see a lot of attitude and it really shouldn’t be that way." At the time I don’t think I got the full meaning of what she said. I mean I know that attitude and probably in some capacity I have the same stance in specific areas of my life. I can tell you though that I never entertained the idea of being the martyr and doing everything alone. What is it about power that turns normally sane women into feared bullies whose morals and principles should be questioned? I know it is not EVERY woman in a power position who acts and reacts in the same fashion I have talked to many who are great women and are doing great things in the industry. It seems to come from those who are given a little power and a little success. It seems that in order to get more these women feel they need to step on others or worse yet to use them and their ideas. It reminds me of movies where there is always a sleazy business man trying to get the big score. Traditionally men see women as gossip mongers who have nothing better to do than chat about this person and that person and think that any woman who has more is a bitch or a liar or both. This is what men picture when they see us sit at the tables. Why would we take the uglier sides of those perceptions of women and turn them into a reality when we get to the right places and the right positions? I just don’t get it. I would think that the women in these positions did not get there by acting this way so why would anyone even think it is becoming to act this way when we finally do get the power to make some major changes and work toward making things better? What is wrong with my rose colored glass vision of making poker and making lives of other women more fruitful along with our own? What is wrong with making a trail of friendships that guide and facilitate the bumps and bruises of our own paths? And why is it when a woman supports another in her endeavors; backs are turned and favors never appreciated or even acknowledged? Do we really have that narrow minds or forget that easily that there were others on our paths to success who stood by us and supported what we do and the goal that we strived to attain? Is it money? Is it the ability to boast and brag? Is the power to belittle another one of our own as lower than we are? I seem to have more questions than answers. But one thing I do know is that the impact is much greater when we are able to hold hands high together and say “Look what we did” versus one hand saying “Look what I did.” |
